Apology
by elilover2
Summary: "What are the chances that you'll forgive me?" "One in a million." "That good?" TravisXNoah friendship.


**A/N: This isn't slash for starters though I may write some eventually. This now is just a little friendship fic that I really felt like writing. I like both Noah and Travis and I think they're the same person in different situations. Both are stubborn, tough, troubled (intense stare into the distance), and amazing.**

**I have to say, I really liked the party/fight scene. You know, where Noah was all "You sound like a freaking seal" and Travis was very unappreciative. This is going to sound weird, but I was totally rooting for Noah. The Carlton kids are really rude about "Hearing people this, hearing people that" I was glad to see one of teh pilot kids stand up for themselves (aside from Bay). **

**Anyway, I don't own the show. Or the characters.**

Noah's POV

"You need to apologize to Travis."

It's the last thing I expect to hear and the last thing I want to hear as Bay pulls away from the kiss and pins me with a look that means business. She pushes her hair behind her ears and waits for me to respond, her dark eyes serious. I can only stare at her as if she's just told me she's a mermaid, too shocked to reply coherently. Aside from that, I'm also furious. This whole mess was just as much Travis's fault as mine and _I'm _the one who has to apologize?

I'm sure Bay can read this in my face as she sighs and sits up fully, shaking her head at my look.

"You _know _school will suck even worse if you don't."

It makes me feel slightly better to know that this is the only reason she wants me to apologize. She doesn't blame me, she's just doing what we both know is best. This thought soothes me for the moment, at least until Bay bites her lip and looks at the ground.

"Travis is my friend, sort of, and you weren't exactly nice to him."

"Really Bay? _I _wasn't nice to _him_?"

She gives me a look, one part pleading, one thousand parts serious business.

"Both of you were wrong, **both **of you, but I know for a fact Travis isn't going to apologize. Why not you?"

"Uh, because I'm not apologizing to that-"

"Noah." Bay's voice is sarcastic but extremely purposeful, that one word sending a shiver down my spine. There's something in the way she looks, in the way she said my name, that forces me to my feet. I glare down at her but it isn't very impressive and she's not one to react to glaring. Her hand, shining in the soft light of the street lamps, points to the end of the driveway. I follow her finger and see a shadowy figure all the way at the end: Travis.

"He's over there. Go get it over with, like ripping off a band aid."

"Great, thanks." I mutter and head towards the offending figure, hands in my pockets. I spend the short journey mulling over the injustice of what I'm being forced to do, forcing myself to reach out a hand and pull my lips into the best smile I can muster. My fingers brush Travis' shoulder and he turns, arms folded, eyes hard. We stare at each other, sizing each other up, for a long time before I manage to clear my throat.

"What are the chances you'll forgive me?"

**"One in a million.****" **He signs and speaks which surprises me. I thought he would be too proud to speak, too stubborn. He's doing, I realize with a jolt, the exact same thing I would.

"That good?" I joke, not expecting Travis to react but still feeling nervous when he doesn't. His face remains hard and impassive, his arms held tight against his chest as soon as he's done signing. I don't know what to say now, having no plan or bulleted presentation or cue cards to confer. All I have is my brain and my mouth and they haven't proven to be very useful so far.

"I'm sorry, all right?" I finally come out with the first thing that sounds slightly decent and Travis lets out what I assume is a disbelieving laugh. I clench my fists, my teeth, anything to keep from retaliating.

When it's clear that Travis isn't going to respond I try again, "I shouldn't have done what I did, ok?"

Still, there's no response from Travis. It's infuriating, this whole persona that he's humoring me, condescending me, _better than me. _It makes my blood boil, looking at his smug expression. It's a bit harder to get the words out now as I attempt another word combination, hoping this will be the right thing to say.

"I was stupid and shouldn't have taken it out on you."

Travis agrees with this, he rolls his eyes as if I've stated something obvious. Fury turns my face red as I wait for him to forgive me and maybe apologize himself, anything so I can walk away.

He doesn't say anything and I see even more of myself in him, in his stance and his attitude. I grab onto this fact and go with it, anything to fill the empty spaces and alleviate the burning rage.

"You're just like me, ya know."

Travis is surprised by this, I can see it in the way his face relaxes, just a bit. As soon as it releases, it tightens again, leaving the feeling that what I saw was an allusion.

"Yeah, you are." I continue and Travis shakes his head. It's an odd gesture, it surprises me, and I stop. We study each other for a long time and I can't comprehend what he could possibly have meant by that shake of his head.

**"I am nothing like you."**

I can do nothing but stare at him, that anger starting up hotter than before. It slides through my veins and into my heart, thudding it against my chest, flying into my brain and clouding my thoughts. All I can see, all I can hear, is that head shake and those five words.

"That's it then?" I whisper but there's nothing to compete so it sounds like a shout, "That's it."

Travis clearly thinks he's won but I know he hasn't, he can't have. I want the last word, I want to win this battle, and I will. My brain is working but not well, my mouth opens and spills out words like a waterfall.

"You think I'm an arrogant, big shot, hearing kid?"

Travis nods and I spit the next words.

"You're wrong."

"That's right, you're wrong. Pretty wrong, damn wrong, extremely wrong!" It doesn't make much sense but it feels good, god it feels good. I don't need to fight Travis, I don't need to fight anyone, this is good enough. Even if I get beat to a pulp for it, this is good enough.

"I don't give a damn if you're deaf and I don't give a damn if I'm hearing, get that? It's not about that, Travis, it's not about any of that!" I'm not breathing properly, my lungs forgetting in the heat of the moment that they have a job to do.

"You look at me and all you can think about is what I've done to put you down! You look at me and all you can see is the fact that I can hear, you can't, and I must be out to get you! I'm in your school to make fun of you, I'm trying to make friends because I feel bad! That's all you see and I'm sick of it! I'm sick of all of it!"

"You know what I see when I look at you, Travis? I see someone that, in my old school, I would have been friends with! I see a guy with brown hair and brown eyes and a hell of a lot of attitude! I see someone who can stand up for himself, who can be pretty damn stubborn, who can do what he wants because he wants it! I see _me, _Travis! _I see me!_"

It's dead silent and I realize that I'm shouting and people can probably hear me but I'm not bothered by it. Let them hear, let them hear my frustration and let them know that I'm doing something about it. At least I tried.

"I see you, Travis! But all you can see is the fact that I'm hearing! All you can see is the fact that I'm not a part of your world! And that, Travis, is why you feel so friggin segregated! You look at me and judge me and all I can do is judge you right back! How is that fair? How does that work? It _doesn't_!"

It takes all of my self control to keep from grabbing his shoulders and shaking him, shaking him until he gets it. I know it isn't fair, Travis is hardly a big component of what's been happening, but I can't help it. I have to tell someone, someone who will actually listen.

"I realize that you have had it bad, I realize that you have a lot to overcome, not because you're deaf but because other people are blind. Blind to the fact that you are the same as them. But you have to realize something: you aren't the only ones going through hell."

I can't say anymore so I close my mouth and wait. I don't know what I'm waiting for or why I'm waiting in the first place. I don't know why I'm allowing Travis time to ponder and react to what I've just said. I don't know why, when I was so angry before, I don't feel anything now.

When Travis finally responds it's simple:

**"I never said you don't know what hell is."**

I nod because there's nothing left to do but agree and he sticks out a hand. We shake and it feels natural, like we were meant to do it all along, and the feeling of not caring is replaced by one of relief. I may not have earned a friend, but I feel like I've earned his respect. When the handshake is broken I head back to Bay who heard the whole thing and thinks the worst. I enlighten her and she seems surprised but pleased.

When Travis leaves, he waves to me and I wave back, content with the fact that I no longer have to worry.


End file.
